Sunday, October 25, 2009

Real Housewives: The Horrors of Home Design

As they made passionate, gummy, slit-like love to each other, then slept the sound, snoring sleep of lovers, Alex and Simon could not here the scritch-scratch... scritch-scratch...Scritch-Scratch...SCRITCH-SCRATCH getting louder and louder and louder and Johan's terrible screaming and then a great hissing and whispering, like demons coming spilling out of a fissure in hell's marbled ceiling, more terrified shrieks and the sound of bedsheets tearing, of legs kicking, of tiny feet or paws skittering across the floor, a great crack of lightning, one final swallowed "Nooooo..." and then silence.

When they walked into Johan's room the next morning, they saw the torn sheets and nothing else. He was gone. "So he was right," Alex stammered. "They're back." Simon nodded, gravely. "They're back.

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